What the Hell, Halloween?

Greetings everyone and welcome to yet another start of the week.

Halloween is just around the corner which means that costumes are quickly running out. Every year, stores like Spirit and Party City are packed with outfits for that one night of tricks and treats. However, among those creepy and cute costumes there are some that are just as confusing as a rubix cube. Below are my top five what the Hell Halloween costumes.


5) Babe-a-licious Beaver

Quick name the sexiest thing about a beaver! You couldn't think of anything? Congratulations, neither could I and yet there’s a sexy costume of it. There are multiple costumes conveying the ‘sexy beaver’ idea, one being a slip on dress while others resort to undergarments. 

For some reason, costume designers believe that everything can be sexy, and I mean everything. Sexy ghosts, sexy cows, and even sexy corpses for all those necromancers and mad scientists out there. 

I can understand some sexified costumes like occupations (fire fighters, police officials, etc.), Halloween folklore, and some others. But there's a broad line that separates the sexy from the sweet, based on what people’s imaginations. For example, police officers are sexy; beavers are not.
 

4) Sexy Sesame Street

Growing up, nearly everyone watched Sesame Street. It was a famous program on PBS and WHYY that educated children on numbers, the alphabet, life lessons, manners, and songs with celebrity cameos; such as Tom Hiddleston and Whoopi Goldberg. Throughout the years, the show has been made fun of and has changed with the times. Even Cookie Monster has changed from a cookie loving fanatic to a helpful friend who reminds us vegetables are good for us.

Around Halloween, characters from this famous program from our childhood undergo drastic and strange transformations. Elmo is now Sexy Elmo, Big Bird is now Sassy Big Bird, and Bert and Ernie are Saucy Ernie and Sexy Bert. These costumes just show that sometimes two great things should not merge together. The idea of sexiness is forced upon icons from our youth, warping their innocence into something more dark, and unexplored. When you happen to see someone dressed as these sexified puppet celebrities, it’s like stabbing your childhood with a sword of injustice. It’s warping something you grew up with into an idea that should not be imagined. It’s like combining caviar and wasabi – it just doesn't work.

3) Twerkalicious

For those who remember Miley Cyrus’ outrageous display of the female sexuality at the VMAs and fell  in love with it, there’s a costume for that. If you thought her teddy bear corset was so gosh darned fashionable you’d love to wear it, there’s a costume for that. And if you thought Robin Thicke couldn't rip off Beetlejuice anymore, guess what? There’s a costume for that. Miley’s sexually drugged teddy bear corset is at Spirit Halloween, along with Robin Thicke’s attempt at reviving Beetlejuice for the same price. Foam fingers are also sold at that store to add the to the overall "sexiness" of these outfits.

To be honest, I don’t know what’s scarier: the fact that they’re completely sold out online or that there are costumes of that horrific evening.

Also, Beetlejuice!....darn it, nothing happened.

2)  Body Parts

Regardless of gender, it’s great that people embrace and accept themselves biologically, mentally, and physically. Sometimes, people like to show their self love by dressing up as what physically defines their gender. Some people like to become the embodiment as to what lies below the belt. Others like to cover themselves in specific physical attributes. Whether it’s for laughs or a personal expression of self love, people find ways to dress as their favorite body part, and it’s no exception on Halloween.

1)  Toiletries

Sometimes, people dress as strange objects to raise a laugh or uplift an eyebrow. A couple may go as a toothbrush and mouth wash or floss, which is cute and a bit funny. But dressing up as objects used for a certain time of the month or even a hot adult activity can be viewed as weird, disgusting, and above all: what the Hell.

Have you ever seen any costumes you’ve deemed ‘what the Hell’? What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever dressed up as for Halloween? Leave your thoughts in the comments section below and as always, feedback and followers are welcome.