Yuletide Carols Being Sung Through the Malls

Welcome everyone to The Magical Mystery Blog.

I apologize for the extremely late blog entry. For some reason my Internet is acting up and the only way I can repair it is to refresh and release the IP address. There’s just one problem: I have no idea how to do that. So until then, I’ll be getting on to the best of my ability, and creating some cheerful Christmas entries.

Christmas is next week and by now you've heard enough Christmas songs to break your sanity.  As you've shopped in department stores, Christmas music has been blasted on loop throughout this holly jolly month. Yet after a while, a few songs get to you. You swear that if you hear that specific tune one more time you’re going to punch in a display or beat a mannequin with another mannequin. Below are those top 3 irritating Christmas songs.

3.  Jingle Bells by Barbra Streisand

I swear to Kris Kringle’s bells, Barbra Streisand is on crack when singing this song. The only other song I’ve heard sung this fast is The Blues Brothers’ Rubber Biscuit. I heard this version of Jingle Bells this entire month at work and every time I listened to it, I was ready to chuck something across the room. It was annoying and personally, not one of Streisand’s best in my opinion.

2. Grandma Got Ran Over by a Reindeer by Elmo and Patsy

Most people love their grandma. She’s the chef of culinary masterpieces, the spoiler of your children, and the best giver of hugs. If something terrible happened to her, it would probably break our heart. For her to be run over by Santa Claus is horrifying. It also raises the question of why was Santa Claus flying lower than an airplane. Was he targeting this unsuspecting grandma? Did her grandchildren forget to leave out cookies? What’s the deal, Santa? Are you resorting to hit and runs for some sick pleasure you chubby old bastard?

1. Christmas Don’t Be Late by Alvin and the Chipmunks

I’ll admit I wasn’t like other children who adored this song. Frankly, I hated it and to this day, I still find it annoying. Something about the melody, the singing, Dave, and even the Chipmunks are as irritating as an itch that won’t go away. The only way I could ever like this song is if it is Patton Oswalt’s demonic version because it makes me laugh so hard I forget to breathe.

But to easily remedy these irritating tunes of the holidays, I also present my top three uplifting Christmas songs.

3. The Nutrocker by Emerson Lake and Palmer

There have been many versions of The Nutrocker but this one takes the fruitcake. Every time I listen to it, it sends my heart beating like the fantastic drum solo in this song.  This tune not only gets you in the mood for Christmas with its glorious guitar instrumentals but it makes you want to wrap everything in sight. What makes this cover even better is that it’s done by a classic rock band who wrote other classic songs like the Karn Evil 9 and Lucky Man.

2.  We’re Walking in the Air by Peter Autry

This song is by far the most beautiful Christmas melody I've heard since anything that emerged from the graceful lips of the Celtic Women.  Even the animation that accompanies it is beautiful and adds to the calming effect this song has. This song is just what we need during this hectic time of the year. It’s a tune that allows us to escape the chaos of Christmas shopping and relax. You really have to listen to it to feel the warmth of Christmas flow into your heart, the mysticism calm you and erase any thought within your head, and the beauty pour into your ears.

1. Feliz Navidad by Jose Feliciano

Something about this song just makes you want to groove and scream out the lyrics. It’s a feel good song that encourages you to sing it, even if you don’t know a word of Spanish, or don’t understand the lyrics. This song has been around for countless years and always gets me in the Christmas mood and Taco Bell.

With irritating notes or pleasant lyrics, these songs help contribute to the holiday spirit of Christmas. They remind us of the lovable quirky and corny attributes the holiday has to offer. So the next time you’re Christmas shopping and hear any annoying or cheerful Christmas song, embrace the holiday spirit.

What’s your favorite/ most hated Christmas song? Feel free to comment below and as always, feedback and followers are welcomed.