Welcome everyone to a special Christmas Eve edition of The
Magical Mystery Blog.
Every year, the classic story of Twas the Night Before Christmas is passed around from house to
house and generation to generation. I’m sure most of you have heard this story at some point in your lives.
As a special treat for Christmas, I've rewritten Twas the Night Before Christmas to include fandoms you all know and
love.
Twas the night before Christmas and all through the world
jokes and comments of many fandoms were hurled
of Adventure Time, Deadpool, The Hobbit, and others
that made fan boys and fan girls unite like sisters and brothers.
The fans were wide awake, watching Christmas specials in
their beds
while visions of pairings and fan theories danced in their heads
and Whedon in his onesie and JK Rowling in her cap
they soon snuggled in for a quick power nap.
Out from the star filled night, arose quite a sound
that roused the neighbors, the fans, and everyone all around
from houses, eyes searched the land to find the commotion
that was as clear as glass but as loud as the ocean.
The moon was as white as Jack Skellington’s face
transforming the fallen snow into a scene of beauty and grace
but from the corner of my eye something wonderful appeared:
a blue bulky police box with eight characters, flying like reindeer.
With a youthful driver so giddy and random,
I knew it had to be Fandy Claws: The bringer of fandoms.
Cracking his whip, he shouted, “Yippy kai yay!”
And shouted to his flyers, as their bells jingled all the way.
“On Loki and Xerneas, on Hannibal and Katniss,
on Sherlock and Marceline, on Harry and Daenerys!
Come on, come on, go faster! I know you can!
If you don’t, I’ll introduce you to Slender Man!”
The threat caused the flyers to climb into the sky
not wanting to meet the horror that’s made many cry
as they rose to the roof tops, people jumped into their beds
waiting for the sound of Fandy Claws’ to arrive over their heads.
My house was the first as a resounding crash hit the roof
“Damnit Loki! You hit this fan’s reindeer’s hoof,”
the driver shouted as he hustled to our chimney and jumped in,
slid down into our fire place and emerged with a grin.
He was dressed in pieces of characters’ clothes
from Sherlock’s scarf to his snowy Hobbit toes
on his back was a bag of holding full of fan adored things
like light up arc reactors and Green Lantern rings.
His eyes were glistening like Hannibal’s, his freckles were
like cherries
his hair was like Merlin’s, his cheeks were quite merry
His ears were pointed, like the legendary archer Legolas
and just like David Tennant, he had a great ass.
House of Stark crests bound Batman’s cape to his lanky frame
a tattoo on his wrist showed he pledged to the Gryffindor name
he had a handsome fair skinned face and a bit of a beer belly
that hid beneath his brown coat and shook like jelly.
He seemed like a great guy as he ate one of my cookies
and I smiled like the first time I ever saw a Wookie
with a nod of his head and a charming grin
he assured me that this Christmas would be full of win.
He didn't make a sound and laid the presents under the tree
he then placed some gifts in the stockings, and turned to me;
smiling, he raised the Vulcan signal just inches from his face
and giving a nod, he rose up the chimney, and out of my place.
He leaped into his sleigh and cracked the whip once more
as the flyers took to the sky, in search of another house to explore
but I heard him exclaim in his Professor Xavier voice,
“MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL! BE MERRY AND REJOICE!”
Merry Christmas everyone and a Happy New Year to you too!
