Parents: Get With the Program

Good evening everyone and welcome to The Magical Mystery Blog.

Most of you are in your teens to twenties and probably live with strict parents. Especially if you’re an only child or a younger sibling, things tend to seem unfair. Some parents fall back relentlessly on ideals from the 50s (if not older) and never seem to let them go. Tonight, I’m going to dispel some of these ridiculous myths that you may have heard throughout your lifetime.

1.”If you hang out with nothing but men, you’re a whore.” – FALSE. Ladies, guess what? We can have nothing but guys as friends and it’s okay. Why? Because they’re human just like us and maybe you prefer to do things with them as opposed to women. It’s perfectly okay and by no means are you a whore. Rather, you just have awesome friends you like to do things with.

2.”Everyone is out to get you.” – FALSE. For starters, this is something you shouldn’t tell someone with anxiety or paranoia because it only makes it worse. Regardless, yes, the world is comprised of wonderful people and terrible people. Not everyone is out to get you because they are too focused on their lives to even care about you. However, it is still good to be cautious when venturing out in the world – just don’t overdo it.

3.”You need a man to do things and go places with.” – FALSE.  I’m pretty sure that most of us can handle ourselves in this world. Granted, there’s nothing wrong with the buddy system and hanging out with friends is fun. Yet there are some days when we want to have some ‘me’ time and do things we want to without anyone’s company. We don’t need an escort or a chaperone. We can do it all ourselves.

4. “You can’t drive alone at night because it’s dangerous.” – FALSE. Want to know the difference between day time driving and night time driving? Headlights. There’s also a fewer amount of cars on the road as well as people, but as long as you know where you’re going, stay awake, and keep your doors locked, you should be fine.

5. “You shouldn’t wear boys’ clothes because you’ll look like a lesbian.” – FALSE. Why not dress in boys’ clothes? For the record, I am incredibly girly – I will wear pink frilly dresses until I’m deceased, but I love wearing big shirts and men’s sweatpants because they are comfortable. Am I a lesbian? No, I am a heterosexual, but I do believe homosexuals have an equal right to marry, to wear whatever they want, and to be treated as a normal person.

Thank you for reading tonight’s entry. If you enjoyed it, feel free to subscribe, share, comment, and critique.

So tell me, what are some things your parents say that drive you insane?

The Devil's in Jersey

Welcome everyone to another Friday entry at the Magical Mystery Blog.

Halloween is filled with candy, frights, and of course, scary stories. Around this time, tales of ghostly hands on the back of car windows, headless horsemen, and other chilling legends come to light. As mentioned before, I’m a Jersey girl who happens to live not too far from the Pine Barrens. Around here, we have an urban myth of our own entitled The Jersey Devil.

Years ago in the county of Batsto, there was a woman who had nothing but daughters. On her final pregnancy she cursed her child to be a boy and when she delivered, she had a son. Regretting her words, she loved for the boy dearly and treated him like a little prince. However, the hex she placed upon the child surfaced as he sprouted demonic horns, cloven hooves, leathery wings, and other features that mortified his family. Without hesitation, he bared his glistening fangs, and proceeded to devour each member of his family. When he was finished his feast, he took off into the Pine Barrens to search for more victims. To this day, he still roams the forest.  

Throughout the years, people have claimed to have witnessed this devilish beast. Tons of shows like Ghost Hunters, Destination Truth, and Paranormal State would set off into the Pine Barrens, take footage, and analyze it to see if they captured the myth. Even locals and Jersey natives would search the Pine Barrens for this fabled beast; they still do so to this day. Others have based short independent films around this Jersey legend while others have written stories about it.

There are different ideas based on what the Jersey Devil looks like.  This is based on what people supposedly see, the legend itself, people’s imaginations, and their take on a classic beast. While I have not seen the Jersey Devil myself, I have seen various interpretations of the monster.

The most common image of the Jersey Devil is the illustration below.

wikipedia.org

Here he is trying out for the Pegasus sequence in Fantasia

The image was also used for an evolving item on the RPG web site, Gaia Online. Comparing this idea of the Jersey Devil to the legend, leads me to one unyielding question:  what the Hell?

This particular image makes the Jersey Devil look like a reject Pegasus with a goofy smile. It’s not scary, non-threatening, and makes Bigfoot look terrifying. Based upon the legend and what have people reported seeing of the Jersey Devil, it should be depicted as something that menacing, carnivorous, and horrifying.

Below are my top five fear inducing representations of the Jersey Devil.

5) It’s a Fall evening and boredom has consumed you. You decide to walk through the Pine Barrens, which so happens to be your backyard. You’ve lived here almost all your life and not once have you ever seen the Jersey Devil. At most you’ve heard falling trees and rustlings in the woods but brushed them off as nothing more than wildlife. You’ve taken walks through the forest as long as you remember and never before have you seen anything abnormal. Just as you start to head back to your house, you hear branches snapping like bones over your head. Tilting your gaze upward, the moonlight illuminates a horrific figure.

turtlepedia.wikia.com

You wonder how long that’s been in the Pine Barrens.

4) There’s a rumor that if you chant ‘Jersey Devil’ three times, he’ll appear; much like the Bloody Mary legend. On Halloween, you decide to put this myth to test. The Pine Barrens isn't too far from you, so you decide to take a ride. Driving out there seems much more different than normal. The wind propels your vehicle forward, encouraging you to execute your idea.  Within ten minutes you arrive at your destination and enter the forest until you’re completely surrounded by nature.  Leaves throw themselves at you, pressing you to chant. Jersey Devil. Jersey Devil. Jersey Devil. Silence hangs in the air before it’s interrupted by a howl of blood lust just over your head.

cryptozoo.monstrous.com

You regret chanting his name.


3) Camping out in the Pine Barrens seemed like a fantastic idea. Alone with the wilderness on a chilly, Autumnal evening; what could be better? You’ve heard the stories of the Jersey Devil around the camp fire and disbelieved every one. You’ve seen the programs and thought they were nothing more than entertainment. As you douse the fire, a shadow speeds by a cluster of trees in front of you. Disregarding it as a deer, you turn in for the night.

Snuggling into your sleeping bag, you stare at the pointed roof above you. A darkened being as tall as the trees looms over your shelter. From what appears to be its head, two antlers branch out into the night sky. A pair of lengthy bat wings protrudes from its back. Terrified, you grab your knife from your backpack and prepare for the worse as it tears into your tent.

usaonrace.com

You instantly wonder if those television programs were onto something.


2) So your friends dared you to go searching for the Jersey Devil and you accepted their challenge. It’s nine by now and you’re scouring the forest with nothing more than a backpack full of essentials, a flashlight, and a camera recording every sight you see. You’ve been marching through the woods for at least two hours and already you’re bored with this mission. There’s no such thing as the Jersey Devil you tell yourself, and trudge onward.

A half hour passes and by now you’re wishing you could call the whole thing off. As you start to text your friends, a branch snaps behind you. The noise sends tremors through the Earth and shivers beneath your sneakers. It boggles your mind as you quickly flash some light on the area. Your shadow dissolves as a large, fallen limb appears beneath a pair of ivory eyes and an icy wisp of breath.

wikipedia.com

You suddenly believe in the Jersey Devil.


1) As you walk through the shadow cloaked Pine Barrens, the Fall leaves crunch beneath your feet.  However, something seems off. In the distance, there’s another crunching that makes your hair stand on end, and piques your curiosity. CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH. As you near the destination of the sound, the crunching gets louder. CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH. Through the decaying trees, you see this monstrosity crunching on the bones of some unlucky victim.

Rushelle Kucala, deviantart.com

It’s the Jersey Devil, finishing off his dinner but he’s not completely satisfied. Before the rotting cadaver, the beast unleashes a ghastly shriek that pierces your ears. Whipping its head around, its crimson eyes lock with yours. Its gaping maw exposes fangs covered in gore from its previous victim.

You better run.

And So It Begins.

In a world where money can’t buy love and kittens have dominated the Internet, there is an aspiring writer who questions life’s randomness while attempting to hold onto logic. As for the sanity, well, that’s been lost. But who needs it anyway?

Greetings everyone, my name is Vannilla Fudge.


As you can see in my brief bio, it says that I’m a wannabe mermaid.

For those who don’t know what a mermaid is, it’s a half human half fish hybrid of beauty.  Most of you are probably familiar with these fantastic creatures from movies like The Little Mermaid, Splash, Aquamarine, and Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides. There are also different types of mermaids portrayed in myths based on various cultures. For example, a mermaid in Japan is called a ningyo and is depicted as a half fish, half human.  Their tears can transform into pearls which have a high, magical value and their blood can be used to cure every sickness.

To the left, your typical mermaid. To the right, what they consider a normal mermaid.

Another type of mermaid, the melusine, was often found in medieval bestiaries. It was always depicted as a twin tailed mermaid; sound familiar?

Starbucks: The coffee of lords and ladies who aren't afraid to tax their peasants to purchase it!

That’s right. Starbucks was around during the times of knights, dragons, and princesses.

My love of these mythological sea creatures started when I was a child. The mere idea of being able to see a completely new and different world beneath the waves fascinated me. Even more so, viewing that world without having to worry about running out of air meant I could explore it as long as I liked. I always wanted to see what it was like to endlessly adventure under the bodies of water and see a world I was not familiar with. However, there are other reasons as to why I’d love to be a normal mermaid. Here are my top five reasons:

    1)      You get to travel – as a mermaid you have the proper bodily functions to breathe underwater for extended periods of time, swim gracefully, and look fantastic doing it all. Now remember that all our worldly oceans are connected. Our seas are also joined to the oceans but are smaller in comparison. Each bear a different name and are different from the rest based on their creatures, depths, reefs, and many other qualities. For example, the Caribbean Sea possesses an amazing sight for divers, tourists, and others: The Cancun Underwater Museum.

Oh God, the weeping angels are everywhere!

In November 2009, construction was started on this project with the goal of promoting coral reef growth, the development of marine life, and conservation. By using neutral clay to sculpt over four hundred pieces of art, Jason deCaires Taylor was not only able to achieve his goals but feature some amazing sculpture skills as well. The Cancun Underwater Museum lies beneath the coasts of Cancun and Isle de Mujeres.  The Mediterranean Sea also shares something like this where the ruins of Cleopatra’s palace will also become an underwater museum. As a mermaid, you don’t need to pay the fee for renting scuba gear, airfare, a hotel room, possibly a rental car, or anything of the sort. You can just swim right into these aquatic museums (and other places) without travel expenses.

   2)      You get to see what land lovers haven’t– there are fathoms beneath the waves that humans have not explored yet. As a mermaid, you get to dive down deep into the undiscovered ocean. You get to see the wonders that have not met human eyes yet. You experience the sudden temperature changes, the nature of the different creatures and their habitats, the undiscovered artifacts of extinct cultures, and so much more.  You’re the first to see something new and amazing and explore it to your heart’s content.

   3)      Sunken ships and buried treasure – the idea encountering an abandoned, antique ship is thrilling. You question how long it was there, what purpose did it serve, how did it sink, when that shark get here? The excitement and curiosity builds greatly as you travel through the parts of the ship and examine each room. Down every corridor and through every cabin, the pieces fall into place. You begin to understand what happened, who was aboard, what type of people they were, and hopefully, escape that shark.  Sometimes, while exploring a ship or even on the ocean floor, you’ll even find buried treasure. While it’s not easy to find, it sure is a glorious surprise when you stumble upon it.  Gold coins, chalices, and gems? Yes, please!

   4)      Killing people with your voice – mermaids were also called sirens that lured sailors to their death by singing. The crewmen and captain would get so distracted by their beautiful voices that they would fail to control their ship and crash it into the nearest rock. This could come in handy if you want to destroy a ship with poachers, kidnappers, or any villain on board. Or you know, if your ex is on it, and you want to get some sweet revenge. Your soulful voice could probably also work on fellow jet skiers, motor boat captains, and many other aquatic crafts. However, I highly doubt it would work on a submarine.

    5)      You get to be a legend – there are speculations that mermaids may or may not exist in the past and/or present. There are even Discovery Channel programs like Mermaids New Evidence 2013 and Mermaids: The Body Found which explore the possible existence of mermaids. There are also people out there who believe that mermaids are real; some even have theories and evidence to support their claim. Others just like to believe. But for those who don’t believe in mermaids, you can tell them to kiss your fins because as a mermaid, you exist! You’re a myth throughout the world and its numerous oceans. When people see you it’s like seeing a celebrity  - exclusive and amazing. The only thing you have to worry about is people attempting to capture you and using you.